Oh no, I made the mistake of scheduling two things outside the house today.. and both of them involve talking with people.

I'm so annoyed with myself.
I did it again. I get into this loop where I start drinking a lot of cocoa because it makes me feel a bit more alert (I'm exhausted all the time) and then I wonder why I'm feeling so incredibly anxious, and soothe myself with more cocoa, so I get more exhausted, so--

Hint: cocoa contains caffeine and I'm sensitive to caffeine. It makes me anxious.

Why do I keep doing this to myself.

At least today (day 2 of no cocoa and no dark chocolate) I feel so much better than I have for weeks. So that's the silver lining, right?

I think I can probably be OK if I have a little bit every now and then, but definitely not several cups a day.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic #anxiety

My motivational guide for today... Make at least something.

Hell yeah, it's good that #Adolescence on Netflix is getting folks talking about how toxic smartphone use is for kids — that shit’s real and it’s wrecking young people’s mental health. We need to be having these convos.

That said, the “one-take” gimmick? Christ. As an editor, lemme tell you — there’s a reason we cut things. Editing exists to make shit better. Doing every episode in one long, unbroken shot might seem edgy, but after the first ep, it just feels like a flex with no purpose. It starts dragging real fast.

Still, worth a watch. If it gets us talking about #cyberbullying, #anxiety, and how we protect kids from the dopamine drip of their goddamn phones, I’m all for it.

Now go touch some grass and talk to a human, ya screen junkies.

My anxiety woke me up at 4AM.

On an in-office day.

This is why I hate them so much. In-office work is completely unnecessary and chaotically disruptive to my week, for no good reason.

I think this is important.

Certain cytokines (IL 17 family) can increase sociability and cause anxiety, depending on which region of the brain they act.

We live in an anxiety crisis that got worse and worse since 2020.

The great majority of the population caught Covid 19 since 2020.

https://neurosciencenews.com/immune-il17-anxiety-28559/

Anyone to link the two together?

#Poland pushes for united EU response to digital-era #mentalhealth challenges: #Anxiety and depression rates among youth have risen 20% since pre-COVID levels, experts warned at EU conference. https://www.euractiv.com/section/health-consumers/news/poland-pushes-for-united-eu-response-to-digital-era-mental-health-challenges/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=dlvr.it

I've been fighting off feelings of not being good "at anything" a lot lately.

It's a constant fight of self-talk to stop myself from falling off the deep end.

Do 'normal' people go through this internal dialogue?

How to navigate the #publishing industry if you have social #anxiety.
https://www.sfwa.org/2025/04/01/how-to-navigate-the-publishing-industry-with-social-anxiety/

Autistics have a history of genuine experiences telling us that social encounters are, more often than not, going to be uncomfortable. And, like all reasonable humans, we avoid the thing that is uncomfortable.

Me:
I'm going to run out and pick up some groceries, and run some errands, maybe I'll take the dogs for a walk when I get back.. I'll change my sheets and put another load of washing on, and then I have a bit of uni work to do as well..

Also me:
hmm. no.

Hi fedi friends… things are really not ok… like actually legitimately pretty shit…

But I desperately need to make silly posts and chat with y’all like everything is ok…

Is that alright? Can both things be true?

No damn sleep last night.

Anxiety. Stare at wall. Cat meows. Bed creaks. Spouse sighs. Flicker of phone screen. Furnace runs. Cat meows again.

Up, into pajama pants, rumpled t-shirt. Stumble into kitchen. Feed cats. Reheat yesterday's coffee. Slouch on couch. Sip.

Cat ignores food. Races from front to back of house, crazed. Leaps onto windowsill. Stares outside. Meows again.

It takes a great deal of strength to speak about #PTSD and #Anxiety and #mentalhealth

Mikaela Shiffrin is a wonderful role model and human being.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBtBzWZ_R_Y

Them: Why do you have crippling anxiety?

Me, when I meet new people:

It's #Aprilfools Just a friendly reminder to not do that shit to people with #anxiety or #ptsd . That's a sure way to loose a good friend #mentalhealth